As my husband and I have been preparing for our next adventure of seminary and vocational ministry, I have found myself having lots of doubts. Struggles have resurfaced that I thought I was “over.” So I have been on a search for a book.
Now, let me add here that I have been spending my daily quiet time with the Lord in Bible study and prayer. And I know that He is all I need. But slowly, subtly, I think I had forgotten that last bit, that HE IS THE ANSWER.
Hence, the search for a book (several); an additional resource or two, if you will.
I have been wanting to find a book on how to be a pastor’s wife, as I have not yet come across a book in the Bible that specifically shows me how to use my passions of being a wife and, Lord-willing, a mom someday, to proclaim the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
You know, a book that will tell me how to juggle everything while “doing ministry” and supporting my husband in his ministry.
I have also been looking for a book that will show me how to be confident in the Lord, instead of my usual self, which is often scared and anxious. Now, I know the Bible addresses these things, but still I struggle with them, and so I thought maybe someone out there had it all figured out and could share their wisdom with me.
I need another book on how not to be a people-pleaser, a book that will tell me when the correct time is to say “no” to an opportunity and when I should say “yes,” yada yada yada. So I have been searching for these books….
Randomly, I picked up a book at the library the other day by Timothy Keller, entitled King’s Cross. Well, not SO randomly, I suppose. He is currently my favorite author, as I have read three of his books now and been greatly encouraged and drawn into a deeper relationship with Jesus through them. So I saw that he had written this book, and thought, “Okay, sure, why not?” I AM SO THANKFUL for how God has used this book to lovingly show me the simple (yet profound) truth I had, once again, kind of forgotten.
For those who have not read this book (which, btw, READ IT), it is a study on the life of Jesus as portrayed in the Gospel of Mark. As I began to read this book, which is often interjected with passages of scripture from Mark, the Lord reminded me that the answers to my questions, doubts, fears, struggles are found in HIM.
In fact, not only does He have all the answers, but He IS the answer.
I was struck at how, through his study of the Gospel of Mark, Keller mentioned issues such as people pleasing, insecurity…all these things that I continue to wrestle with in my flesh. And as Keller made brief comments about these specific issues, the Lord gently pointed out to me that He is what I need to overcome. In my humanity, I am incapable of getting rid of my sin and doubts and fears! That is why, at the cross, Jesus paid the price that I could never pay, to bring me redemption, FREEDOM, a relationship with God through Him. He is my covering, my righteousness. What sweet news!
So, it turns out, I do not need several books on how to be a pastor’s wife, get rid of my insecurity, and be confident in the Lord. I need Jesus.
(Isn’t it funny that, during my search for a book that would give me guidance on certain topics, the Lord used a “random” book to turn my attention back to Him? What an amazing God!!)
*What I so appreciate about this book, King’s Cross, is that it is drenched in the Word of God. Each chapter is filled with portions of scripture from Mark, among other scriptures that proclaim the main story of the Bible…that Jesus came to redeem us and save us, that He alone can save us! In addition, Keller draws from other scholarly sources who know much about the culture of the world in biblical times, which give greater meaning to the Scripture (for instance, it is important to understand the preparations taken for the Day of Atonement in OT times, in order to have a fuller appreciation for what Christ accomplished for us at the cross!) For these reasons, I highly recommend that you read it :). It would make a great study aid for the book of Mark!
“God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Cor. 5:21