My Dear Girl,
Mommy was thinking of you today. In fact, I think of you every day, praying always for you when I remember you. I’m the Mommy whose eyes well up with tears when thinking about you, because I know God has given me such a beautiful gift! You are my beautiful gift, and it causes me to rejoice in what God is doing! I think about all the fun things we will do together – things like reading together, cooking and baking, going on playdates with other Mommies and their children – and I get so excited thinking of these fun memories we will make!
But tonight was difficult. Mommy and Daddy had to go through a Waiting List application and check off different health conditions and situations we feel capable of handling at this time in our lives, and it was so hard to know what to check “yes” to. Daddy got all choked up when he was researching some of these conditions, and I began to wonder, “What if our girl is sick and just needs someone to care for her?” “What if she does not bond with us for a long time?” “What if…?” And as these doubts and questions began to surface, I prayed. I prayed, because I know that God is capable of taking care of you. I prayed, because God can handle my fears and doubts. He is a BIG God, dear one, He is the only God. I prayed that you would know this someday.
Oh, Mommy and Daddy cannot wait to meet you, love!! And even though we haven’t met you yet, you have already brought us so much JOY! Do not worry if you are scared when you come home. We know it will be so different. Do not worry if others remind you constantly that you do not look like Mommy or Daddy (we rejoice over this!), or that we’re not your real parents – we know the truth. (We are your real parents!) Do not worry if you are sick, or have a medical condition, we will take care of you and we love you just the way you are. Just the way you are, little one. There are so many things about the adoption process – and about life – that are uncertain. But two things will always, always be true no matter what: God loves you, and Mommy and Daddy love you! Always, always we love you, precious one.
Mommy will be thinking of you every day and praying for you! I will be in the nursery on Sunday, playing games with children. As I hold them and love them, I will be thinking of you. I cannot wait to hold you, and I so look forward to learning all about who you are and what you like to do. You are our family, dear daughter, and we are waiting expectantly for you!
“When I am afraid, I will trust in You. (Psalm 56:3)”