As I sat down at the kitchen table this morning before Tim went to work, he gave me a big grin and proceeded to tell me about a dream he had last night. “I dreamed that we had a daughter…and in my dream, I loved having my daughter. I loved being her Dad,” he said, cheeky grin in place. I was reminded in that moment of a great work that the LORD has done in our lives over the past few years of marriage that has brought us to this place in our lives. This sweet place, where we are beginning to dream of and long for our children.
My husband never wanted children. I remember sitting in his family’s living room a few years back, reading through an old school journal of his that was never tossed out (thank GOD! Mothers, keep your son’s journals!). One of his life goals? To never have kids. I knew this about him when we started dating. “Open to the possibility,” he said, “but I’ve never wanted kids.” When we married, I didn’t know if we would ever have children. I tried desperately to not push the idea on him, and prayed prayed prayed that God would change one of us. There were times when the subject of “starting a family” came up in conversation, and by the end I was in tears; heart aching that I might not ever be a Mommy. I was reminded in those moments that, despite the pain of unfulfilled dreams, my ultimate hope did not lie in my life goals. My ultimate hope is always in God, Him alone, and that was an important lesson to learn. (One I still need reminded of daily!)
Well I don’t know when it happened, but slowly my husband opened up to the possibility of being a parent. At first, he wanted it for me, because he knew how much I longed for children. But then suddenly, at some point along the way, it became his desire, too; and all of a sudden, I’m sitting in the kitchen with him, seeing the change that has occurred as he excitedly tells me of his dream. And there are children in his dream, and it brings him joy just to talk about it! I used to wonder if I would ever see this day. Glory, hallelujah.
God has done a great work! When we least expected it, He gave us both the same dream of having children through adoption. We are now walking down this path toward parenthood, and our hearts are overjoyed at the thought of it. And as we both dream, we are being reminded….God alone is our Hope. He is the One who satisfies us, He is the One who answers prayers, He is the One who establishes families and cares for the orphans, He is the One who gives us dreams and makes them come to life. He is everything, and as we work hard for our children and pray for them, He is right here with us. Right here, and He’s reminding us over and over and in every possible way; that He alone is God, and He is good, and what He’s doing is for HIS fame! Thank You, God.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” – Ephesians 3:20,21