I was at the store, staring at an array of bakery items. Fatigue from a busy – a VERY GOOD – but busy week had left me worn out, and the list of “to-do’s” for the day ahead was still a mile long. Nonetheless, as I stood in the baked goods aisle, there was a strong urge to make my way over to the flour and spices aisle so I could purchase ingredients to turn into a beautiful, homemade dessert that my husband and our friends would swoon over at dinnertime. Because I love baking for others. LOVE. IT. But then, I had just read this post. The one where a wife writes out a list of nice things she could do for her husband, and she asks him what he wants most from her. He responds by saying that what he desires most of all is simply his wife. He wants her to know that he loves her, and he wants her to live out of that truth. At the expense of homemade bread and thank-you letters and an orderly home, that is what he most wants. When I read the post, I knew it was exactly what my husband would have written to me, because it is what he tells me all the time, too.
So when I found myself in the bakery aisle at the store, contemplating the choice to go store-bought or homemade, I chose store-bought.
I chose store-bought, because what my husband appreciates more than a scrumptious, home-baked treat is me. What he wants is my energy to be kind and available to him and our friends; and what he doesn’t need (and what my friends don’t need, either!) is a worn-out, frazzled wife who’s so concerned about making a homemade dish that she uses up the rest of her available resources to make something that will be consumed in less than a few minutes. He does not need me to be like that. No one needs me to be like that, in fact.
As I kept thinking about it over the next few days, it donned on me that this silly little scenario speaks to so many situations in life. Choosing store-bought over homemade represents the many times that I have the opportunity to choose between what I want (make something homemade) versus what is in my husband’s best interests (eat store-bought with friends and kind wife). Between my desire to do something nice for others but-it-will-cost-me-my-sanity-and-I-will-freak-out-on-everyone-around-me versus the better option of conserving that last bit of energy for nicer things like, oh, say love and kindness and compassion to the people in my life.
But why is it so difficult for me to choose between these things? Why is it such a struggle to give up what I want for what I know is best?Be sure and stay tuned for Part Two, which deals with some of the reasons why I have such a difficult time choosing, and the hope found in applying gospel truth to these situations.