I was in a group of people, and I saw her there, bounding her way through the crowd. I knew it was her. I followed. This was it. This was the moment I’d been waiting for for, well, a loooong while. I went back to the room, the one where everyone had their first meeting, giddy with excitement. This was it. I was finally going to meet my daughter.
I woke up from that dream with a painful ache in my heart. I dredged my way through the workday, on the brink of tears for a larger portion of my time there. I didn’t realize paper pregnancy came with so many varied emotions.
The truth is, I am sick of waiting. I am tired of the unanswered questions that stream through my head as I wonder who my daughter is – what is she like, what are the struggles she faces, what are the joys she has known and, of course, the heartaches as well? What will she think of us? What will her attitude be toward adoption and our family – her family? Who will I need to contact in my love and care for her – doctors, therapists, counselors, tutors…? How long will we struggle at charades and pointing to pictures and using Google Translate before we can speak and understand the same language? What does her laugh sound like; how tall is she? I am ready for these, and other, questions to find their answers. I am ready for her homecoming, and for our life as a family of three to begin.
After we accepted the referral of our daughter, we hurriedly sent in the accompanying paperwork. We applied for our Article 5 approval. We received it shortly thereafter and have since been waiting for two approvals – one, a state-level clearance and the second, our No-Objection Certificate from CARA – before they begin travel preparations for our girl.
This past week, we were told that CARA was updating some of their adoption procedures in an effort to streamline processes and shorten the time frame between families being matched with their child(ren) and traveling to take them home. The updates are effective as of August 1. At that point, once families have their Article 5, they will no longer need two approvals, but just one. We have our Article 5 approval already, so as of August 1, we are one step away from receiving our NOC. Just one.
As with any large organizational change, however, smoothing out processes takes time. It could mean a slight delay for our family and for others who are waiting. It might speed our time frame up a bit, who knows? But this I DO know:
God is FOR the orphan (Hosea 14:3, Ps. 146:9, James 1:27), and He is the One who places the lonely in families (Ps. 68:6) and gives children to the barren woman (Ps. 113:9) and fills the hungry with good things and satisfies the hearts of His children (Ps. 107:9). God is FOR the orphan.
God hears my prayers (Ps. 66:19-20; 68:19, Heb. 4:14-16, 1 John 5:13-15). He answers them, not according to how I want them to go in my limited, mostly me-centered way of thinking. He answers my prayers with my best interest in His mind (Rom. 8:28-29). He answers them according to the span of eternity that He foresees in His unlimited stores of wisdom, and He answers according to what He knows is BEST. We have been praying for a speedier journey, and as of today, instead of waiting on two approvals, we are now just waiting on ONE. Just one. God hears my prayers.
God provides (Gen. 22:14, Phil. 4:19). He has given us the referral of our daughter, will He not be faithful to bring her home? He has brought us this far, will He not sustain us longer? I will need His sustaining power long after our daughter is home. I will need Him into eternity. God provides.
So as I dream and ask questions that don’t have answers right now, I dream as one who knows that God is doing good things for His people, to the praise of His name. I ask questions as one who knows that when the time is right, they will find their answers.
I can’t wait to hear the sound of her laughter in my home.
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death. -Psalm 68:19, 20